So I definitely do not have a newborn anymore. I have an old born! Haha! Man oh man how time is flying so quickly that my mind can barely comprehend that I have a 4 month old! Four months ago I was so eager for him to get to this point and now that he is, I'm feeling a bit nostalgic to the day he was born.

• 14.6 lbs - 24 inches 
• Eats every 3-4 hours,  is now 75% bottle fed and 25% breast fed. 
• Sleeps patterns have varied, I guess its true what they say about the "4 month sleep regression" because it definitely caught you! It was nice sleeping more than 4 hours while it lasted! Lol!
• Diaper Size: 2
• Clothes Size: 3-6M/6M
• Likes:
• Staring at the ceiling fan, lights, moving things
• Mickey Mouse Clubhouse!
• Trying to grab things with your hands!
• Laying on Dada's chest
• Dislikes:
• When I'm not in sight. You start freaking out when I walk away from you for even a second!
• Milestones: 
• Eating baby food! 
• Holding your own baba (bottle!)
• Drinking from a trainer sippy cup (for 4m+)
• Sitting up with little assistance for a short period of time
• Definitely more "talkative" now and you try to mimic what we say the best you can. Sometimes it sounds like your'e saying 'Ma-ma' or 'Hi' or 'Hello!' 
• Firsts:
• Hiking (day) Trip @ Belle Isle in RVa with Mama, Dada and Uncle Josh! Dada carried you on the ergo the entire hike, you fell asleep 30 minutes into the hike! 
• Norfolk Botanical Garden Trip for the Laterns of Asia exhibit! You got a kick out of this ones because of all the lights! It was such a joy to see you so amazed and amused!
• Zoo Visit @ the Smithsonian National Zoo in Washington, Dc! Of all the animals we saw, I think you enjoyed the cheetah, zebra and the elephants the most! 
• Cherry Blossom Festival in Washington, Dc! 
• Eating actual baby food! Your very first meal (aside from breastmilk and formula) was organic oatmeal cereal, and your first veggie/fruit was butternut squash that I made for you! So far you've tried cereals, squash, and sweet potatoes! :]
• Personality: 
• Your character and personality is definitely coming out more now that youre more interactive. You're a very curious little guy and love to blabber as usual! 

I wrote this piece back in February but never got a chance to publish because I wanted to edit it. Well I never got around to reading it again 'til today, and I didn't edit one thing. I think I've grown a little as a mother since this post, and it was nice to read it again knowing how far we (Tristan and I) have progressed since.

The transition has been an interesting experience thus far. However, come March, I'll be a 'work from home' mom? Thats a thing right? I'll be back to running our small photography business, but for the mean time I am a stay at home mom.  This is another thing that has been new to me... staying home and not working at all. I have been working since I was 15. I learned the value of money at a young age. Some people used to say/assumed I was spoiled, not knowing that I worked hard for what I had. Sure, my parents lent a helping hand here and there and would provide as best they could, but I was never spoiled. "Blessed, yes." Anyway, back to my original topic. Transitioning to being a complete SAHM has been difficult. I'm so used to having something to do, some place to be. 

Becoming a mother has definitely been a roller-coaster ride. I'm sure many moms can agree to that. It has its highs and lows. Its exciting, but at the same time scary. I am now responsible for another human being aside from myself, to make the situation even scarier, a tiny human being that at this point can't communicate with me. So it has been a daily struggle of trying to figure out what works for us and what doesnt, his likes and dislikes and everyday I find myself saying "it'll get better, just hold on. You'll get used to this lifestyle eventually." And then there's the pressure of being the kind of Mom that everyone says you "should be." As if the pressure of being a mom at all isn't enough. You have people constantly giving your their 2 cents. I don't mind advice, heck I ask for them all the time, but give them to me, don't attack me and make me feel like Im being a horrible mother because I don't do something a certain way or however someone else does it. So for all the new Mamas, do you. ;]

I knew becoming a mom wasn't going to be easy. From these past two months with Tristan, I can attest to that. What no one ever really discusses is how mind numbingly painful it could be. Everyday for the past two months, I have had the same routine, and I know this routine will be around for a while. I have never been glued to my couch for as long as I have since Tristan was born, and to be honest some days it drives me insane. Insane! Now I completely understand what all the Moms before me felt, and so I also know that there's a light at the end of this mind numbingly painful routine of ours.

People assume that because we stay at home that we have the easier end of the 'work load.' What some don't understand is, being a mother is a 24/7 job. You constantly have this baby attached to you because they'd rather fall asleep in your arms than in their bassinet. Some days I'd get lucky if I get 5 minutes to myself before the baby comes crying out. I have never had to eat so fast in my life that I don't even get the chance to savor the flavor. When he naps, its always a battle between deciding to eat, shower, clean, laundry, work on business stuff, or nap. Some days I try to tackle as much as I can with however long Tristan gives me. Sometimes its 5 minutes, sometimes I get 30. It's an amazing day when he naps for almost 2 hours. I rejoice in the glory of putting him down for that nap! You don't understand; when he naps for that long, I never know what to do with myself because Im so used to my time being so limited.  See, Tristan from the start has been a fussy baby, he can also be very clingy. But what newborn isn't? He's very clingy, so if Im not holding him, he cries his lungs out. I end up resorting to baby wearing to get anything done around the house. And yes, that includes using the bathroom. Listening to a baby cry for long periods of time throughout the entire day can make someone nuts, but as much as I'm not a fan of his cry, its his only way of communicating with me, so I go with it.

Some days I do get a little jealous that John gets to go to work. He gets his "me" time in the car, he gets to interact with other adults on the daily and do "adult" things. But, he reminds me that I get the better end because I get to stay home and bond with our son. I get to watch him grow every day, while he only hears the stories that I share with him. And he's right, there is nothing more that I wanted than to be able to witness all his milestones. I made this decision to stay home. As repetitive as it can be, I have to learn to embrace this new role of mine. And the day he finally says 'Mama,' I'll look back to the "horrible" days that led me to that moment, and tell myself it was all worth it.

Don't mistake this for me being ungrateful or complaining. This is my truth. Motherhood isn't all fun and games. I still have my meltdowns and cry some days. It takes a toll on you. Its a lot of work, hardships, tears, frustration, anxiety, but more importantly, its filled with unconditional love. Its hard to explain the type of love I feel for Tristan. As cliche as it sounds, I never knew a love like this. Where you can be crying one minute because you're so frustrated with everything, but I get one glimpse of his smile and its as if my entire world instantly got better. For that moment, I just want time to freeze. There is gonna be a day when he will no longer need me and he'll become independent. So I guess I should just treasure every moment I have with him when he's this little, right?

"Motherhood is a choice you make everyday, to put someone else's happiness and well-being ahead of your own. To teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you're not sure what the right thing is... And to forgive yourself over and over again for doing everything wrong."

He has given me a new purpose in life.

Xx,
A Stay-at-Home Mama! <3

Im not sure if I've ever mentioned it here, but last October I got a random email from a publisher from about.com in the nursery/kid portion of the site. I thought it was some kind of mistake when I first saw it on my inbox. Kathryn said she saw our blog on the sneak peek of our nursery and was drawn to it. So she emailed our business email, luckily we had a link to our business website on the blog. She said she couldnt find an email address to contact me so she searched around the links and was happy to have found our website. At first we were apprehensive about sharing our story with her because we werent sure if she was real or not. So, after mentioning it to John that day, we did a little research on her. She's a nice lady and patient at that. We were suppose to get the full interview and pictures done and sent to her after Thanksgiving. Well, life happens and we didnt get a chance to completely finish it by the first deadline. Before we knew it, Tristan was born and life after that was just too chaotic, especially with family flying in and out for a good 6 weeks. We took the nursery pictures back in December, but we never got a chance to sit and edit them til the end of January. We finally sent her the finished interview along with the photos just 2 weeks ago. Yikes! A whole 5 months later! She was very nice about it and understood because she had kids of her own.

We have been wanting to blog the full nursery reveal for a while but wanted to wait 'til Kathryn got the article out 'cuz we promised we'd let her feature it first! So, here it is! We certainly put a lot of thought and creativity into his nursery and we are more than happy with the turn out. A lot of it didn't go according to plan, but we love how everything fell into place at the end.

The theme was a given already. Before we even found out we were pregnant, we already knew we were gonna center it around adventure and travel. I even incorporated some things from one of our favorite animated movies: UP! My birth announcement to John was even adventure related (watch the reveal here!) The day I told John we were expecting, one of the firs things he did after the news sunk in was go on Pinterest to pull up inspirations. I already had a hidden board full of ideas. Well, the bad thing about that is we didnt know where to start. We still ended up with a blank drawing board. We threw ideas at each other and agreed on a lot of things, but we also disagreed on some. It was to the point where we no longer looked at our Pinterest boards and just let it flow as the months went by.

Why did we choose neutral instead of gender color specific? Well, we wanted to keep it clean and simple. We didnt want his entire room to be painted blue just because he's a boy! With this, we figured it'd be a nice space he can grow in to. Its also easy to change out accent colors. We wanted to keep his furnitures white with a mix of rustic and wood to stick to the outdoorsy/woodland part of the theme. 

John got the mural inspiration after our trip to Sutro Baths/Lands End and he noticed the mountain silhouettes in the background on one of the images he took from the trip. That is his favorite thing in the nursery. A lot of things are DIY-ed, thrifted then repurposed, or something we already had. Other things were bought from Homegoods, Ikea, or Amazon. We set a budget for this nursery and waned to make sure we stuck to it. We were fortunate enough to have had my parents offer to buy the crib and mattress! You can find some of the diy stuff we did under the Projects/DIY tab on top of the page! 

My graphic designer sister, Jane (find her shop here), did most of the framed wall art, so we saved a ton of money from that alone, and then John did the wooden and flag signs. This side of his nursery is definitely the woodlands and outdoorsy part. I love the little details here; from that vintage lantern to the woodland stuffed animals. The dresser/changing station was thrifted and repurposed! I totally scored on that because I was starting to fall in-love with the mid-century type. At first I wasn't sure what I was looking for, but when it popped up on Offer Up! I knew I had to have it! I think it blended perfectly, especially how it matches the crib!

That stump table was the last piece we needed to do to complete the nursery. I was so adamant about having one that I searched high and low to find a place that was giving away or selling stumps. I remember seeing a couple houses with stumps and firewood for sale whenever I drove towards the freeway. Lo and behold, there it was. For 5 days we stopped by this house that had a bunch of them on their yard, no one answered. I was almost going to give up until we finally got a hold of them! I was so excited. It was only $5! John got to sanding it, cleaning and then stained it and tada! The perfect side table! This kind of piece would have cost us $180-$300 everywhere else I looked! The vintage luggages was one of the first things I bought for his nursery. This was a part of the original idea we had, so we stuck with it. Which works out because its his little 'travel' area which holds the vintage plane, pilots hat and goggles and the globe! Told ya everything fell into place at the end! :)

Our main purpose for choosing the theme was to hopefully ignite some interest for travel and adventure within him. That no matter where he ends up in life, he should never stop exploring, in any aspect of his life. We want to teach him that experience is just as important as being well-educated. The world is his playground, and he should play in it. The possibilities are endless, as long as he seeks it and goes after it!

It was definitely a work in progress. I spent a lot of time, late nights even, getting things done for the nursery. Overall, we love how it turned out and is proud of the amazing collaboration we had, cuz despite some of the disagreements, we found ways to compromise and make it work where both of us were happy. Alright, lets be real, Im sure he just let me win most of the time! Haha! I remember sitting there after he put the stump side table and just admired the room. It still felt surreal. Its definitely not as clean now as it is in those pictures, but its still my favorite room in the entire house. 

Xx,

Jenn