Im nearing the end of my pregnancy journey and its making me extremely emotional! Everytime I look down at my belly I think of how much I am going to miss him being inside me, where I know I can protect him from the dangers of this world. But I know sooner or later, he'll have to come out and I'll be able to hold him in my arms and protect him in a different way. Its has definitely been an overwhelming roller-coaster ride that I could not have anticipated for, but was worth every ups and downs. I know I haven't kept up with my bump chronicles, and I promised I'd update in one post, so Im going to take this time to reflect on the past 4 weeks that I missed. 

The picture above was a trial image that John took with the new lens that I bought him, but it was the only belly picture I had for the 36th week (taken at 36weeks 5days), which was yesterday. This was after I woke up from a nap and earlier on the day was rushed to the ER. It wasn't due to complications with baby, I was bleeding non-stop from my neck for nearly an hour and had no idea. It was a normal day. I was starting to put up Christmas decorations outside, John installing the carseat and other things around the house... Until after lunch. I felt something wet drip down my neck and when I felt for it, it was nothing. Clear like water. So I ignored it, but I did tell him I was feeling a little off and shaky. 30 or so minutes later John asks me to move on the other side of the couch because he had to put the subwoofer behind the one I was sitting on, and I just happened to look down. My clothes were drenched it blood and I had no idea. John freaked out and pulled me in to the powder room and made me take my clothes off so he can find where it was coming from. After wiping off the blood, he saw it was a cut from my neck and it was on a vein. He immediately changed and rushed me to the ER because blood would not stop gushing out of my neck even after wiping and putting pressure on it. My first thoughts was, "Oh crap! The baby!" I wasnt sure how much blood I had already lost, but I was definitely light headed. I tried not to panic, but I was low-key wanting to pass out! John wouldn't let me close my eyes on the drive there, but I couldn't keep my eyes open.  It turns out, there was a minor cut on my neck and it was on an artery. I have no idea where or how I got it. They are assuming it was a skin tag, or something that I accidentally scratched without knowing. The doctors weren't too worried since the cut was small. They patched it up, then monitored the baby via ultrasound. Baby is doing fine, his heartbeat looked wonderful and he was certainly wiggling around in my belly. Thats all I was really worried about. John ended up staying home a little longer to keep an eye on me before heading off to work at 6:30. It was nice having home a little longer.

Aside from that little scare, I have also been having really bad heartburn and indigestion! It started on Thanksgiving after dinner. And no! I didn't eat an entire feast because I ended up staying home alone cuz John came home later than planned and we didn't end up making it to our friends family party. So it was dinner for 1, or well 2, sorta! Lol! I was just glad John got to come home at 9 rather than midnight. We went to bed around 11 so we can get up early for some black friday shopping. But boy, I could not sleep because of the heartburns. They were so bad I was up at 2:20am and could not, for the life of me, fall back asleep. So I was super tired while we went out. I only lasted 2 hours before I asked John if we can go back home and sleep. John bought me some Tums and I ate some before heading to bed. I was able to sleep for a good 3 hours before it started bothering me again.

On top of all the heartburn, I have been extremely itchy! Itchy.. everywhere! Neck, chest area, belly, thighs, arms.. I cant seem to figure out why! Its really bothersome! I started using Aveeno itchy cream, its helped a little bit. But oh my goodness! I knew the 3rd trimester was going to be just as bad as the First, but holy smokes! This is the most uncomfortable I've been my entire pregnancy!! Itchiness, heartburn, constantly having to pee, and just feeling really really big! His movements have also changed. It doesnt feel the way it did several weeks ago, its definitely more forceful and I feel like when he kicks me now, it feels like my ribs are getting bruised! I can feel every single movement. Baby H has also turned and is head down and in birthing position. And since he has turned, I can feel his bum agains my belly and his foot next to my ribs when he kicks. I can also see his elbow, or arm move along my belly! Its quite fascinating to just watch! I also like to poke his leg which makes him move a ton!! Also, aside from the heartburn and itchiness, add pelvic pressure on top of all of that other things I have been experiencing! I started experiencing some of these symptoms at 34 weeks, but it has just gotten worse! Its both good and bad (in terms of being uncomfortable).

I am also on my weekly OB appointments, which started earlier this week. We had an appointment on Tuesday and they did labs, the normal routine, and checked my cervix. Doc said im not dilating just yet, but its definitely thinning. Eeep! John was able to join me for the first time since our 20 week anatomy scan, which was nice. We also had to do an unplanned ultrasound because the doctor thinks the baby is measuring small. I have always measured a week behind because of my small frame, the other ob's Ive seen says its normal for my size and they dont expect a big baby. But just to be safe, the doctor went ahead and squeezed me in for an ultrasound just to get measurements. I was a little worried but I knew he was fine. He is measuring at the 12th percentile at 36 weeks 2 days, and is weighing roughly at 5lbs 6oz. Sounds good to me! I do have a follow up appointment in 3 weeks to do more measurements making sure baby is growing, and I thought by then, I wouldnt be surprised if he has already made his arrival! Im hoping for a December 18th-20th baby because I really want him home by Christmas! But I know, I know... its not up to me!

After this session was over, it made me sad to think that this was going to be our last maternity session before this baby gets here! I had one last dress left that I couldn't go to waste since none of my clients put it to use! Im sure it'll get some lovin' once we start accepting sessions again next year. The top part of the dress is the Hilary Crop Top by Sew Trendy Accessories that I was able to grab during the RTS sale they had, and the skirt part I made to match it [for anyone of my fellow pregnant mamas out there who are curious! Sew Trendy has some amazing dresses!!!]

But anyway, I really am going to miss this big belly of mine even though sometimes I feel so unattractive. When my belly started to get bigger, I started to feel less attractive and John has been amazing at reminding me just how beautiful I am, to be carrying this beautiful little life inside of me. I have to remind myself that the weight gain is all a part of it. I have gained 25 lbs so far with about 5 week (give or take) left. I guess I'm right on track on the weigh gain department. My doc did say that with my small frame, I should gain between 25-30 lbs. 

It has been 3 weeks since I did a "bump chronicle" update! That bump up there is at 34weeks and 3 days. I'm kind sad I've missed three whole weeks! I've just been caught up with a lot of things that by the end of the night blogging is the last thing on my mind and I just crawl straight to bed. Plus John's recent schedule changes has gotten me on a weird funk!! So now with the shower over, and our photography sessions coming to an end, I'm back. I will recap in one post sometime later this week. 

Xx,

Jenn

Baby Size: Good-sized Cabbage (according to the Ovia app!)

Current Cravings: Nothing really stands out anymore because it changes daily! I still have a sweet tooth though!

Weight gain/lost: According to my most recent doctors appointment a few days ago, I have gained another 3lbs the past 2 weeks. Woah baby!  

The Bump: Is indeed growing! Sometimes I wonder how much bigger i'll get because I feel like my belly has stretched as far as it could already, but Im sure it'll stretch even more in the weeks to come! Its amazing how a woman's body works! 

Movements: He's moving like a crazy as I type! Hitting all parts of my inside, mostly my ribs and pelvic area. He has been doing tons of stretching. I dont feel his kicks as often anymore, and Im assuming its because he's running out of room in there, but I definitely fill him wiggling around and stretching. Its crazy when I feel him stretch because I can feel him from the bottom and top parts of my belly and I just imagine him stretching out his arms and legs at the same time! Hiccups have also been very noticeable this week! I feel him hiccup a lot! I feel bad because I hate when I have hiccups, but I know its not hurting him or anything. I have yet to start a kick counter, I should though. 

Sleep: This hasn't been an issue lately. I get a good 6.5-7hrs on most days, and occasionally 8. I don't wake up as often in the middle of the night as most momma-to-be has told me they'd experience. I usually use the bathroom just before I lay in bed, and every now and then (not nightly) I'll get up in the middle of the night to pee, but other than that, I sleep through the night just fine, except for when I turn to switch over to the other side and sometimes lose breath because the baby is pushing up against my diaphragm. I started sleeping somewhat propped up which as somewhat helped. 

Looking Forward To: My maternity session with John! I'm a lot more comfortable when John is the one behind the camera, i mean obviously! I love how he has learned to take control during a session and actually direct on how to pose, if my angle looks flattering or not. I can't wait to see what he comes up with, plus being able to put on the dress I made and the one I ordered! Glam time! Lol! 

Meaningful moments:  John and I laughing at the most ridiculous and lamest thing ever! It was a picture he showed me on Facebook and we were literally rolling on the floor (in our case, the couch) laughing our butts off! I was laughing so hard, that I was on the verge of peeing and crying! Oh man! It was great! I haven't had a good laugh like that in so long, and for something that someone else probably wouldn't have found so hilarious! But thats what I love about us, we can laugh at the stupidest things together!

I miss: being able to drink alcohol! So bad, I know! I'm not as big of a drinker as I was 5 years ago. I stopped drinking a lot 2 years ago when we started actively trying again, so its been a while since I've had a good drink! We recently went to a friends party and most of the ladies there were buzzed, tipsy or drunk and I felt a little out of place! Lol! I'm sure when the time comes, I'll have a drink and I wont like it! But just the freedom of being able to do so I guess, is what I miss! But whatever, Id give up alcohol anyday!

I've come to the realization that I am who I am, based on how I was raised and who I chose to influence me as I grew up.  As soon as I found out we were having a baby, the question I continually asked myself was "Am I ready to raise a child?"  I don't think I'll ever be ready, as ready as I can be I guess. So I'll take what I've learned from my parents, my elders, all of my mentors, and just teach my child how to be the best human being he can be.  I hope he picks up a camera while he's young, so we could go on documenting adventures together.  A change in view from what I see. How an adult and a child sees life is so different.  I can't wait 'til he gets old enough to hold things because Jenn says as soon as he can,  one of the first things were handing him to hold is the Fisher Price camera toy we bought him before he was even conceived! 

We started off with a lazy Sunday type of morning and this weeks bump update pictures shows it! It was around 7 am when I started to feel baby moving around in my tummy and it woke me. I laid there for a good 15 minutes before John turned to face me and slowly opened his eyes. I love waking up next to him, especially after not being able to the previous day. John and I like to lay in bed for a while after waking up on the weekends and just talk and most of the time give Pax some morning lovin'! We got up at almost 9 a.m. to eventually get the day started. John made pancakes for breakfast while I quickly finished off some sewing projects. After breakfast, John decided to mow the lawn and kill the weeds, and we just hung out before heading out.

This week, I have been having major separation anxiety. I started having it towards the end of second trimester, but this week was bad. It might be because I know he wont be home very much this month. I start having anxiety as soon as he gets up for work, to the point where I just wanna cry. I tease him that maybe its the baby thats making me so attached because I have been doing this whole long hours and crazy schedules for the past 8.5 years! I've learned to not let them phase me anymore, but goodness gracious! I can't seem to control my emotions lately! I know, I know, its the hormones! Darn those hormones!

With the bump getting bigger and heavier, doing simple things like picking up something I dropped off the floor is a struggle! I squat down to pick it up, and then sometimes I dont have the momentum to get back up! Sometimes I just sit all the way down and roll over to my knees and push myself up. Also! I've been noticing how much of a messy eater I have been! I've never been a messy eater, but oh my goodness, I feel like the bigger I get the messier I am! Every time I eat now, I drop something and I dont even notice it til I get up and look down at my shirt and there's crumbs or stain marks on my shirt. Its ridiculous! No matter how careful I am when eating, you can guarantee there will be something on my shirt at the end of that meal!

I have also been very clumsy lately. That could be because I am now front heavy and off balanced! John now likes to wait for me at the stairway when we go up for bed because he likes to help me up the stairs by pushing my butt up so I don't have too much weight down there. Its kind of sweet and funny, but it works! Going up and down those stairs are a nightmare, but I guess its my work out. I'm seriously out of breathe after the 3rd time. Thats why when I go up to get something I have to make a list of what I need so that I dont have to go back up for a while, but with pregnancy brains, sometimes I tend to forget and then up and down I go! Its worse when I have to go up to the third floor! Lets not even go there! Haha!

I love that I have John to help me document this pregnancy because he is able to capture me when I feel my prettiest and the not so glamorous, like when I am just getting up to get the day started without all the make up and all. I'm still in awe at the fact that we are now going in to the 30's. I still think back to earlier in the year when I was going through tests and exams to figure out why we were having trouble conceiving, and now here I am sitting typing this as the baby moves around in my tummy. It's a crazy beautiful feeling!

Xx,
Jenn

Ahhh! We entered our final trimester on Monday! I feel like it was just yesterday that we announced our pregnancy! So insane how fast this pregnancy (and the year) has gone by! Since the nursery is almost done, we decided that we'd start doing our weekly bump updates in there from now on.

Baby Size: Large Eggplant (according to the Ovia app!)

Current Cravings: Nothing specific this week. I'm pretty much open to whatever. I'll have certain cravings during the day, but nothing that sticks out. 

Weight gain/lost: I just had my doctors appointment yesterday and I've gained 7lbs since my last appointment 4 weeks ago. It's definitely all belly. I am starting to notice that my face is getting rounder and plumpier. 

The Bump: Is bigger and rounder and heavier! I don't realize how big it's gotten til we do these weekly updates, thats why I'm so glad we do them! 

Movements: He's definitely a lot more active now. I mean he's moving all day, all night. I love it though because its such a reassuring feeling when I feel those quick kicks and those slow wavy movements. My favorite is when he moves slowly in waves and then suddenly just pauses for a quick second, its uncomfortable for me, but he makes one side of my tummy bulge out and then I just rub it and he moves. Sometimes I assume I'm rubbing his back or his head or his elbow. Its so hard and I love feeling him. Its a type of connection that I just can't seem to put into words. He has several different types of movements: quick jabs, slow wavy movements, and then theres ones where I feel like he's doing jumping jacks, and then theres the ones where it feels like he just did a quick stretch because I can feel him on my pelvic area and my ribs or my upper abdomen at the same time. There's days where I get caught off guard and just start laughing. He still wont let me record him, but one of these days I will catch him! He's such a ham already!

I'm also starting to feel hiccups, or at-least I think they are! I started noticing them earlier in the week, but Im sure he's been hiccuping for weeks now. Its like a pulsating and rhythmic feeling. At first I thought it was little kicks but it went on for a while. I love when I feel new movements and try to figure out what they are. 

Sleep: Ehh, as long as I get at least 6 hours, I'm fine. I no longer take naps during the day, which I should because there are times where I just feel so exhausted but I just cant seem to take a nap because the long list of things to do starts to run through my mind and I just end up getting up and getting them done. The longest nap I've taken lately is about 40 minutes, better than nothing I guess. 

Looking Forward To: Our baby shower! It was suppose to be this month, but with all the schedule changes at John's work we had to move it to the first weekend in November! I can't wait to celebrate with family & friends, although I wish both our immediate families were here! I still have a lot of prepping to do for the party, but I'm excited to see how my vision turns out! 

Meaningful moments:  I was offered a full-time position earlier in the week, but had to regretfully turn it down. It was so hard and I was so tempted to accept it, but my parents reassured me that everything will be okay and that we, as a family will make it work. I am so glad for their constant love, support and guidance. There is never a day where I don't hear from them via text, call, face-time. My mom has been working a lot of overtime to help with baby funds and I appreciate her so much for it. She doesn't have to do it, I never asked her, but thats the kind of parents they are. I can only wish to give them the life they deserve when I actually have a stable career. Another favorite this week was when we were face-timing one night and my parents kept saying Hi to the baby and baby H would actually move and respond to their voices! I want him to get used to their voices as well because they will be one of the first people he will be around. 

Im not a fan of: With baby H getting bigger and more active, it also means new symptoms. This week I started having horrible acid refluxes and mild heartburns. I hate the feeling! Its so uncomfortable! Allergies have also come back! It attacked me real bad yesterday! Luckily I didn't have to go into work because I had a doctors appointment. 

I miss: being able to bend down! I've come to the point where John has to now help me put my pants on, my socks, or my shoes or anything that requires me to bend when getting dress. I feel so dependent and Im not used to it! 

Happy fall!! Its officially the autumn season! & Oh my goodness! Are we really at the end of our second trimester? I still wake up some days feeling like its all a dream, until Baby H kicks my ribs to remind me that it is certainly real. We have decided to keep his name private (at-least from the social media world) until his birth, since we share a lot of our journey online, we wanted to keep some things to ourselves before sharing him with the world. 

It has definitely been an amazing journey thus far. A bit overwhelming at times, emotional even, but I wouldn't have it any other way. John and I have definitely created a whole new bond during this pregnancy. He's become a lot more protective thats for sure. Now that we're entering our last and final trimester, I just want to quickly look back and reflect on some things I've learned/experienced throughout this pregnancy so far. 

Im not a fan of...

Gas (& gas bubbles)- I was never a gassy person, but boy oh boy! Since getting pregnant I've definitely felt like a man.. burping and farting very often. John just laughs and jokes with me and says "Ew! Thats not very lady like!" But he's just teasing of course. He calls himself the fart king, and he says I am now the fart queen, and Pax too has been gassy. He says we'll be a family of farters. Haha! Its a little embarrassing when Im in the store, and I have to try and hold it until no one is around. =X

Bloody Nose - this was definitely a first for me! I don't know what causes mine, but its not the usual runny ones. My nose for a while has been very congested and dry. I read that some mommy-to-be's experience this, so Im assuming its normal. I will definitely have to ask my doc about it at my next appointment. 

Insomnia - this is the most frustrating one! Since about 22 weeks, my sleep patterns have been out of whack. I hear people talk about not getting enough sleep after the baby is born, but no one ever really talked about experiencing it during pregnancy. The first few weeks I started experiencing lack of sleep wasn't even because of the baby, I just couldn't seem to get my mind to shut up! 

Shortness of breathe - Lately, breathing is a struggle. I'm not sure if its him hanging out and squishing my lungs, but sometimes I have trouble breathing. It reminds me of cheer when Id get dropped from the air. Im constantly trying to catch my breathe. I could be sitting down and run out breathe. Its worse at night when Im laying down, mainly when Im laying on my left side. It drives me crazy. I definitely have a lot questions and concerns to address with at my next doctors visit. 

I love...

Movements - I started feeling movements very early, around 17 weeks, but they didnt get stronger and more frequent til about 20 weeks or later. I used to feel the most movements just before bed time now its all day. His kicks are getting stronger that sometimes it catches me off guard and Im like "whoa, what was that?" I can also see my tummy move up and down from my peripheral vision. Its so funny because he wont let me record him. As soon as I press record, he stops. His popcorn like kicks are my favorites because they don't hurt. The ones that are in waves and are slow, those are somewhat painful. It still amazes me that a life is growing inside of me. Its definitely a reminder that I am never alone. When I start to feel lonely because John's stuck at work, baby's kicks makes it all better. Lately, he's been snuggled up next to ribs or way below near my pelvic area and boy, do they hurt! He mainly hangs out on the left side during the day and then the right side at night. John is really good at figuring out where he is. He's been more responsive to his dada too. Before he'd shy away and stop moving as soon as John puts his hands on my tummy. But now, he lets his dada know that he can hear or feel him. 

My non-existent stretch marks - I dont know if its still too soon, but I am glad to say I have none. John has more stretch marks near his butt than I do! Haha! 

Being an outtie - Odd I know! But I have been waiting for my belly button to finally pop out, and it has! I usually check at night after I brush my teeth to see if it has poked out yet! I looked down two weeks ago and saw that it was slowly starting to stick out and when it finally did I went out of the bathroom with a big 'ol smile and showed John and said "LOOOK! My belly button is out!" We both started laughing. That just means my belly has definitely gotten bigger! Some people still say I'm small, but hello, I was petite to begin with! I love how big my belly is, its big for me. 

Compliments - People tell me that pregnancy looks good on me. I love getting compliments especially on days when I dont feel very pretty and instead feel really huge. I also like hearing it when its from random strangers when Im out running errands. I get the "Aww! you're such a cute preggo! When I get pregnant, I wanna be as cute as you!" I've gotten that twice! Or I'll be out with John and ill walk by people and they'll say "Did you guys see her? What a cute preggo." And i'll just look back and smile at them! Definitely a good ego booster! 

Im glad...

That this pregnancy has been going great and normal thus far, aside from being mildly anemic that is. Which Im currently taking iron supplements on top of my prenatals. But thats nothing new to me. Ive been diagnosed with anemia before, back in 8th grade. No major concerns gets brought up during doctor visits, so I guess its a good thing. I've also only gained 16 lbs so far, which I think is where Im supposed to be. I've got 12 more weeks to put on some weight. Yikes! I was told I should be gaining one pound every week from now on. That means by the end of this pregnancy, I should have gained around 25-30 lbs. Wowsers! I think all the weight has gone to my belly (& boobs, these babies have definitely grown! My bras are getting much much tighter nowadays!)  I'm one of those pregnant ladies where if you saw me from behind you would never guess Im pregnant! 

I know these next 12 weeks are going to fly by just like the first two trimester did! I've definitely been trying to treasure every single moment and experience, both good and bad. I told myself before that if we ever fell pregnant again that I was not going to let the bad outweigh the good. So I promised myself from the start that I will not let the negative parts of pregnancy keep me from enjoying this experience. I keep telling John that once baby is out, I know there will be days when I'm going to miss him being in my belly. So Im embracing it, rubbing it, and enjoying it, no matter how painful it may be. Its funny cuz Baby H isn't even out yet, and John's already talking about the next baby. Slow your roll, buddy! 

To Baby H, 

I can't wait to meet you. I haven't met you yet, but you've already made me fall so deeply in love with you. You've already changed the course of my life in more ways than one, in a good way of course. I love you son.

Love, 

Mommy

__________________________________________

Dada's thoughts: Its been a while since I got to write anything, work schedules has been a little crazy. I'm just going to make this short. Momma is starting to not sleep so well.   Baby H seems like he's either working on his black belt or breakdancing, or maybe both? I always joke with Jenn that the baby will come out with the karate stance. Also now that baby is getting bigger, Momma's back is starting to become more sore than usual.  You know what that means, more time for me to work on my massage hands.

So, I was told baby can hear me better now.  I wonder what kind of music he likes? We sometimes put my earphones on Momma's tummy and let him listen to songs. I get a kick out of watching him move through Jenn's stomach. Its so alien like. It used to freak me out, but now Im used to it. 

We are officially half way through our pregnancy!! It still feels surreal and amazing at the same time that I have this beautiful baby blessing growing inside of me! Because we are halfway through, I wanted to include Dada-to-be in the our bump update because he has been amazing since day one. And I don't want him getting overshadowed in all of this!! This is my favorite bump picture thus far. I was iffy about showing my actual bare belly and exposing my flawed body, but John kissing it made it so much sweeter and a reassurance that despite the changes in my body that I'll be going through, he will embrace this change with me. I'm filled with so much joy when I think about it. He's going to be a great daddy!

I have gained:  8-9 lbs this entire pregnancy so far

We like the names: Girl: Amelia Cassidy - John has had a name picked out for the girl before we even had our wedding! We love the name Amelia, it sounds so sweet. We would have wanted to nickname her Lia. We still hope to use the name one day in the future! Boy: Tristan Ezra, Liam Rome, Tristan Romeo, Theo, Nathaniel, Jeremiah, Julien, Holden, Matteo... the list goes on! Haha! The boy names were so much harder to agree on. Ive had a list of baby boy names that I liked from our first pregnancy, and throughout the years the names Ive chosen have been used by friends or people we know! So im like "Nope! We cant use that anymore!" -- I wanted to use Rome or Romeo as a middle name to honor my  Dad because he never got to have a baby boy. I've always loved the name Liam, but it seems that everyone's boy has been named Liam (or Jayden) and we have both names in the family already! We're leaning towards Tristan though, we don't know very many Tristans. :)

I cant stand the sight of: a messy house!! With the project nursery underway, it has been a mess upstairs! And to be honest, I just haven't been in the mood to really clean, and thats something new to me. I usually keep the house as tidy as possible. Sometimes I just dont' have the energy! I dont know where to start with re-arranging our entire house. We have moved the guestroom to the third floor and now I have to try and figure out how to re-do that floor so that guest can sleep comfortably in there.
Movement: Baby boy has definitely become quite the dancer! I usually notice movements first thing in the morning, then again in the middle of the afternoon, and again when John and I are watching TV and relaxing after dinner, then lately Ive been feeling him just before bed and in the middle of the night. I always worry when I don't feel him for a while, and when I do feel movements again, im like *sigh of relief* "Oh there you are!!" 

Purchases: Paint materials and a closet organizer kit to get started on the Nursery! Oh and some cute little Moccasins for baby! :)